


if we don't meet before i leave, i hope i'll see you later

by atlantisairlock



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, F/F, Female Friendship, Gen, Near Future, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-11 14:31:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7056397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atlantisairlock/pseuds/atlantisairlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dying hurts. It isn't poetic or beautiful or tranquil. It just - ends. </p><p>Or does it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	if we don't meet before i leave, i hope i'll see you later

**Author's Note:**

  * For [weytani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/weytani/gifts).



> person of interest ended at 5x09 sorry i don't make the rules.
> 
> title from '7 years' by lukas graham.

Dying hurts. 

It's mostly because of the fact that you're dying  _alone,_ surrounded by strangers, and Shaw isn't there, none of them are there with you, and the world is fading to black so quick so quiet - 

and you're so  _bitter_ because you just found Shaw again, you wanted so much more time with her, you love her, you love her, you love her - 

Dying hurts. It isn't poetic or beautiful or tranquil. 

It just - 

ends. 

 

 

Or does it? 

You've never believed in an afterlife, not really. Your only God has always been the Machine. 

But. 

There's always been a But. 

"Hey there, Cocoa Puffs." 

You open your eyes, squinting against the light, and let your head fall back with a smile. Figures that she'd use the nickname Fusco gave you. 

"Hello, Carter."

 

 

Well, it looks like you've been proven wrong, and there's an afterlife of sorts. You suppose Joss is here to - welcome you? take you home? something. You're not sure who you were expecting - Hanna, maybe - but somehow, this seems right. She looks impressed as she takes a seat beside you, giving you a once-over appraisal. "I'm surprised you know me. Don't recall the boys telling you about me, or what happened." 

You manage a brief smile, despite the ache that coils within your chest. "Shaw did, once." She did. You remember it - both of you lying in bed together, awake in the middle of the night, and in the midst of the darkness, she started talking and telling you about Joss, and how good she was as a cop, and as a person. 

You remember. 

Joss shoots you a glance, in which you read sympathy and understanding. "She's going to be okay, Root," she says softly, her eyes taking on a faraway look, and you think you recall Shaw saying something about John. "They all are." 

"You don't know that." 

"No, I don't," she admits good-humouredly. "But there's not much we can do about it now, is there?"

It's not a very comforting statement. You change the subject. "Where are we?"

"Where else? Look around you, Root." 

And _this_ is no surprise -

it's the subway.

 

 

You're not really  _in_ the subway, of course, but it's a near-perfect replica, if only for the slightly fuzzy resolution around the edges that betrays the fact that you're no longer in the 'real world'. You're in the clothes you were wearing when you died, sans the gunshot wounds. It's eerily familiar. 

"How do you know about the subway?" You ask, curious. "You were never here, were you?" 

She snorts. "You really think I haven't spent half my time up here watching over all of you idiots trying to get yourselves killed? It's the afterlife, Root. You don't know it, but I've been beside you in a fight a couple of times, just... observing. Making sure you were all right. Which reminds me." Joss looks you straight in the eye. "That girl of yours really does love you."

"Believe me," you answer, thinking of Shaw's fingers intertwined with yours, not long before you died. "I know." 

 

 

Joss shows you how to look in on the team. You make sure Harold's okay - he'd better be, after you took a bullet for him - then check that Lionel's holding up, and that John's with Shaw. She doesn't react when he tells her the news, but you see her shaking when she finds Bear and tells him  _she's dead, okay, Root's dead, she's not coming back, so stop looking for her._

You're right beside her but she can't see you and it hurts more than the actual act of dying itself. She hugs Bear and buries her face in his fur, and all you can do is touch her shoulder with a hand she can't feel. 

 _It's okay,_ you want to say.  _I love you. Goodbye._

"You gonna be all right?" Joss asks casually when you finally step away and deliberately turn, walk in the opposite direction. 

"As all right as the dead can be." 

She gets a laugh out of that. 

 

 

Time doesn't really mean anything in eternity, but you reckon Joss spends an objectively long time orienting you around it. You meet a lot of people, you revisit the world you left a lot, and you always come back to the subway.

You chalk it down to the whole what-the-heck-there's-life-after-death fiasco that takes getting used to, but eventually you come to the realisation that not everyone has a guide to the afterworld when they die. Joss isn't doing this because she's been assigned by some higher power or something, she's doing it entirely because she wants to. 

You have to ask her why, because part of you is still on the run, fighting a war against Samaritan, suspicious and cautious, and Joss just smiles at you. "You were lonely, and you died alone," she says, quiet and no-nonsense. "I've been watching over you a while - you really think I was going to let you wake up without anyone by your side?"

And Sameen Shaw's always going to be the love of your life, you'll never love anybody more than you love her - but you get why John fell in love, and in another life, you think you could have, too. 

In this one, you are friends, and that's more than enough.

 

 

Samaritan is teetering off the point of no return when Harold makes the decision to pull Gen, Lee and Taylor in as the next generation. Lee and Taylor become the Machine's primary assets while Gen becomes Her analogue interface. It's a good choice. You're proud. Joss is, too. 

It marks the beginning of the end.

 

 

They go down fighting. You expected nothing less. John dies first, protecting Lionel - Harold goes next, and Shaw snaps off five shots at the bastard who gets him in the chest. Amidst the bodies of the remaining Samaritan agents, Lionel's the last one left standing after Shaw gets hit just one too many times and that's it, she's gone.

"You watch over them," she orders Lionel as she dies in his arms. "You keep them safe."

"You got it, Miss Congeniality," he answers, voice thick and cracking at the end, and she smiles, closes her eyes.

There's silence, as the both of you watch from above. Joss nudges you in the side. "You should go to her. I'll get John." She sees your questioning look, smiles. "Don't worry about Harold. He has other friends, too." 

You take a deep breath as you watch Shaw die. "All right." 

Joss grasps your shoulder. "I told you that it was going to be okay. And it is." 

You look back at her, nod. "It is." 

 

 

Dying hurts.

But -

it's not the end.

 

 

"Hey, sweetie."

_"... Root."_

**Author's Note:**

> post-writing notes: hanna isn't there because she isn't dead in this fic nope no nah + nathan fetches harold.
> 
> i wrote this because in canon root died alone. she was lonely for so long, she'd just found where she belonged, and the writers decided that it would be appropriate for our beautiful girl to die alone. it was horrible and cruel and lazy writing and i refuse to let it go untouched and unmended. root didn't die alone. 
> 
> i want to believe that the machine gave her a simulation at the very end. i want to believe, in my heart of hearts, that before she died, the machine put her in a simulation where she got her happy ending with shaw and the team and bear, and she died happy, surrounded by the people she loves. 
> 
> and if not, this fic will have to do. root deserved so much better. she deserved to be loved. and she is.


End file.
